Saturday, January 15, 2005

What if I told you I was wrong?

Medications keep rattling my bones. My stomach is sick and my head is just killing me. Scared out of my mind of what I will lose. My creativity, my sanity, me? Looking for answers in which only time can tell. Tick tick tick.

Monday, December 20, 2004

Nothing to declare

Right now I’m uncomfortable, depressed and frustrated, here in the magical world of anti-psychotics. I really can't shake the diagnosis of my brain, but I can justify the fact that I'm not crazy. And to declare my sanity, I’ll give you a secret that many people try to keep covered. Even though we say we’re sane, we really know we’re all lying.

Char is still in the hospital and I have a few comrades who wont look at me because of unknown reasons. But I find the confinement of my room to have plenty of mental security and stability to keep my head up. So here I stop the post with a good view on life and a good view to the computer room wall.

Thursday, November 04, 2004

The type of things we shouldn't know

Just dropped a mood to an all time low. And the temperature just dropped 10 degrees. Char is still in the hospital. I asked what the fuck was going on, and all they could tell me is that "it got bad", so he had to be medivaked to a "stabalized institution". Fuck me man, all I want is to know what the hell is going on. I feel as if I need to do something, say something, say anything. I'm the friend you see for metaphorical and philosophical advice. Your tharapist, your riddler. And I can't do jack shit with a problem of a friend that I know well of. If people would stop pretending like we're all wrong, and that there's only ONE way to fix it, then things would go a hell of a lot easier for all of us. But the fact is, different and naueve perspectives of an outer source means fear of the unknown. And that's just what we have here.

Let's face it, people and life don't mix.

Thursday, October 21, 2004

The devil reached out his hand, and...

Man oh man. What a fucking fantastic week. And as usual, I use the word "fantastic" as the meaning of horrible. Charb's in the mental institution, and I'm so helpless to him. He was medavaced to Hawaii for a "specialist" and I'm stuck in Florida. What in the hell are friends suppossed to be for if the damn system gets in the way? Grrr. I'm being forced to go to South Carolina to my dad's next weekend, for the Marine Corp Ball. So help me god. Things are well with me though. Same old same old.

Saturday, October 09, 2004

Murder part 1

I dont remember exactly why you told me this, but I remeber how I replied. "I agree that I'm horrible and I apologize for not bowing to you the first time." Thanks for making me feel like an asshole. And thanks for having me tell my first lie.